Sorry Your Life Sucks, but...

The presidential campaign isn't exactly what I'd call "in full swing" yet, but I'm keeping an eye on it. Fred and Guliani are ok, but I'm not particularly impressed. Ron Paul is a crackpot. Clinton is a nightmare. Obama is nebulous. Mitt Romney struck me as a possible contender early on, but I haven't been very impressed with him in the debates. Perhaps "haven't been very impressed" is an understatement. In the last debate, when asked whether as President he would strike Iran in the face of an imminent threat without congressional approval, he said "consult his attorneys" and act accordingly. Come on dude, grow a pair. I honestly don't know what I would do, but I damn well wouldn't put the good of the country in the hands of attorneys. The President needs to be able to make decisions and live with the consequences. If you aren't ready for that, then you aren't ready to lead. Amateur.

Then there's this: Romney telling a guy in a wheel chair "sorry about your luck" on the medical marijuana issue. To be sure, it was a difficult situation to be put in, especially on camera, but his response was tactless and close-minded. I guess his attorneys weren't available for comment.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2007/10/07/romney.confronted.cnn

He just moves on, with a polished grin on his face. Sickening. As for where the almighty and virtuous neo-con Shano comes down on the issue of medical marijuana, I can only say this: if there is a scientifically viable medical need, then I don't see the moral defensibility in withholding it. Yes, I am fully aware that any system of legalizing medical marijuana would be abused, and people who don't "need" it would end up getting it. Show me a single system in our government that is not abused to the detriment of society, and then I will gladly accept that as a rational argument. Tobacco, alcohol, marijuana... none of these are implicitly "evil" substances. Good or bad in this case is a matter of how they are used.

I think a lot of conservatives are afraid of stating this because it is a line in the sand. They are afraid that if you allow medical marijuana, you give it a foothold in society and eventually, little by little, it get's legalized across the board.

Just don't break into my car and eat my granola bars, just because you have a case of the "legalized munchies."

Vengeance Postponed

Figured I'd update you on the whole "people stealing my stuff" thing. Upon further reflection, forgiveness and love are the two defining characteristics of a Christ centered life. I can't claim to be very impressive when it comes to leading a life that mimics that of Christ, but I can forgive, and I can reject hate. However small that seems, I am willing to do what is within my power. Vengeance is the Lords, not mine. So, I will not be doing anything to the individual that damaged my vehicle and stole my property. Selah.

As for what I have done:

1) I called 411 and asked for a number lookup. It was unlisted.
2) I used an online directory to look up the number. Nothing for free, but for $15 I could have his name and address. Tempting!
3) I filed a police report, gave them the phone number, and described the nature of my suspicions. It's not enough for them to go on, but if it adds another piece to some evidence they already have, then it probably helps the larger picture.
4) I reported the theft of the Pocket PC to work, they carry insurance on the devices and all I have to do is submit the police report and sign for a new one. And not leave it in my car overnight.
5) I've had the window replaced and things are back to normal as soon as I can match the tint to the other windows.

I discussed the incident with my "sensei," a 76 year old engineer. He told me what he tells his adult Sunday School class:

"I am a Christian, which means that I have been commanded to forgive you. But if I ever lose my religion, you are at the top of my list of people to see."

Trouble in Paradise

For the record, let me state that I graduated from ORU and that I do not regret my decision to get my higher education there. My time at ORU certainly did leave me a bit more cynical and somewhat less "evangelical" in my spiritual world-view, but on balance, I do not view that as a negative. So I'm not exactly doing a jig over this news, but neither am I shocked that something like this would happen. The Roberts have been walking all over too many people for too long for this to be anything but inevitable.

 ORU Target of Lawsuit.
(Cue Dramatic Music)

Dr. Swails is the only one of the three plaintiffs that I know personally; I'm not terribly surprised to see him involved in this. Not at all to suggest that he's a malcontent; he is (er, was) simply one of the more "independantly-minded" department heads at ORU. I'm not a legal buff, but I must say that the lawsuit petition (availible here) makes for some interesting reading. Looks like there has been a concerted effort for several years to document Lindsay and Richard Roberts' various abuses of the faculty and ministry funds. Amoung my favorites:

"ROBERTS instructed T BROOKER that it was time to utilize the talent and resources of T BROOKER and his students in local political races. ROBERTS cited a Bible Scripture about "First Judea, then Samaria, and then to the utmost parts of the the Earth" as a rationalization for directing T BROOKER to become involved in a race in his own hometown."

Typical. How many times did I see that particular hat-trick in my time at ORU? Take a Bible verse that has absolutely nothing to do with your topic, ignore all context, and pretend that it constitutes God's endorsement of your point. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ok, so Roberts wanted to use ORU staff and resources to get directly involved in local politics. Big deal, right? Well, it is a big deal, actually. ORU, like any faith-based institution, is designated as a tax-exempt religious non-profit organization (501c). It is illegal (not to mention unethical) for a 501c organization to endorse a specific party or candidate. But, you know... "First Judea, then Samaria..." so off we go. Sigh. Long story short: the IRS calls ORU on its involvement and investigates. Brooker is instructed to "fall on his sword" for the greater good, and takes full responsibility. He is fined, humiliated, and ostracized, but he retains his job. This, as they say, is where the plot thickens. The injustice is the straw that breaks the camel's back, and some unknown person or persons provide Brooker with a list of documented improprieties by Richard and Lindsay Roberts. Brooker and Dr. Swails approach the administration with the package, and are rebuffed. No action is taken. The list finds its way to the Board of Regents, and immediately afterward, Swails and Brooker's wife are fired. Brooker himself resigned, as if any other option was availible.

In the end, I don't know how much of this is accurate. For my part, I bear the Roberts family no ill will, but I find the entire narrative to be sadly consistent with my limited experiences with them. The university is run as if it's their private estate. To be honest, the whole thing makes me a little heart-sick, because ORU has so much potential. There is so much good there, with a little cultivation and wisdom, it could be amazing. But instead, we get this. Politics and payback. Fuedalism. Bleh.

Well That's Not Very Nice 

So I'm about 90% sure that I received a call yesterday from my tool-stealing, window-breaking friend. Perhaps I should explain: when you turn on my recently-stolen Pocket PC, the startup window displays the contact info for the owner, i.e., my full name, title, home/work phone number, office address, email, etc. So it's pretty much a given that whoever broke into my car knows that much about me, at the very least. So I'm checking my phone messages today, and my voicemail box has a new message from yesterday, 3:26pm. I never heard the call, and was never notified by my phone that I had a voice message waiting (this is not entirely uncommon). When I listened to the message, it was a voice that I did not recognize. It simply said:

"Shaaaayne, call me, caaaaall me."

Southern, inner-city style drawl. Swaggering. Mirthful. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what that was all about. Out of curiosity, I looked to see if my phone history had the number that had called me. It did. So I called the number, expecting to get either a pay phone or a female voice on the other end (because calling from his girlfriend's cell fits my mental profile of this character). Imagine my surprise when the same voice answered my call.

Thief: "Hello"
Me: "This is Shane. I missed a call from this number yesterday. What did you want?"
Thief: "Uh... Naw, naw... I don't... I don't know nobody named Shayne." (Same pronunciation as the voicemail message)
Me: "Really? This number is on my phone's history. You left me a voicemail message asking me to call you."
Thief: "Naw, nobody called you from this numba."
Me: "Are you sure? Shaaaaane. I think I might have had you over at my place Saturday night."
Thief: "Uh... no, nobody here knows no Shayne."
Me: "..."
Thief: "Well, uh, goodbye."
Me: "Yeah, you too."

So... now I have his number. Would it be so wrong to use it for nefarious purposes? Not that I have anything in particular in mind, you understand... just seems like there should be something reasonably annonymous and vengeful that could be accomplished with this information.

Perhaps I could visit every gay online community and messageboard that Google can find, post the number, and then explain that pretending to be straight is just a game that I play and that you should keep calling back and talking dirty to me because it turns me on. Just a thought.

Decisions, decisions, descisions. What would Jesus do?

The Bad Man Knows Where You Sleep 

Well, crap. I was just awakened by one of my roommates, who said "You car door is hanging open." Now since English is not his first language, my first instinct was to check my fly. English slang can be tricky. Ok, no problems down there... I guess my car door is literally hanging open... at 2 in the morning... well, I guess we all know what that means.

Yep, broken into. Sigh. I can tell I'm getting older, because I'm barely even angry. Well, of course I'm angry, it's just that there are competing emotions. Like complete and utter disbelief. My car doesn't lock, but this genius tried (for some time, it seems) to break the small rear window so that he could reach inside to "unlock" it. Thanks, jackass. I leave my car all unlocked for you to pilfer, and what do you do? You needlessly break windows. I don't know, I'm at a loss here. You tell me: How can I make it easier for you to steal from me? What am I not currently doing that would allow you to access my valuables more easily, thus allowing me to keep my car windows intact?

So at this point I feel pretty smart for having resisted the urge to buy a nice new shiney audio system. Take that, you criminal mastermind: spend 15 minutes breaking into an unocked car, and the payoff is... a worthless stock radio... with a TAPE DECK. They still make those? Can't sell those at the pawn shop for crack-money, now can you?

But that's about where the humor (for me) pretty much ends. I did have other valuables in the car, including some tools that I really would rather have been in the garage, instead of sitting in the passenger seat. Dude, even the IRS won't take your freaking tools away from you. That's cold. But probably the single biggest loss was that of my work bag... I know it looks all tempting because it's big and black and it resembles a briefcase, but would you stop and think for a second? If you mess with my job, you are disturbing the circle of life. Listen carefully: I go to that job and I make money. With said money, I buy things that have value. In turn, you steal said valuables from me to support your poor, starving children... or to buy weed. Judging by your handiwork, I'm guessing it's weed. Whatever. The point is: I have to be able to work to fatten myself up to the point where I'll be a good mark. When your thieving interferes with my ability to work, and thus, to make money; the whole system just breaks down. You're biting the hand that feeds you, and we both suffer for it. Honestly, what ARE they teaching in public school these days?

So, in closing, I'm afraid that my pocket PC was in that bag. Not a terribly large dollar value, but I'll have to cough up the dough to replace it... the City provided them to the engineers last year, but I'm fairly sure it's a loaner, not a gift. As for how all of this affects you (which you were no doubt wondering), that pocket PC has the name, number, and address of pretty much anyone foolish enough to give them to me. So, if you are a close friend of mine, the bad man now knows where you sleep. Sorry about that. If he stops by, would you politely ask him to come back and see me? I have something I want to tell him in person.